The search for Father's Day Cards that are funny AND appropriate

So, who decided funny = vulgar, crass, rude and profane? I would rather funny by well, um funny.

Yesterday as I was at Target getting copies of old pictures made to send to the woman who is handling part of my dad's retirement cermony/parties/events, I realized that Father's Day is mere days away and my father and Byron's father both live in California and we are in Colorado. Therefore, it being Wednesday (at the time), I thought I'd better go pick up a couple of cards to get in the mail.

So, I wander from the photo desk to the card department. I don't do mush. No, really, I don't.  At least not voluntarily. So the flowery "you are the father of my dreams and your ever word turns into mushy goo" would um, just not work for me. Nor did the "here's a picture of a bulldog, it expels more instestinal gas than you do, didn't think that was possible did you? Or the "on father's day you can drink a lot of beer and belch" or the ones with starred out profanity or, well, you get the picture.

However, EACH of those cards were in a slot that said "Fathers Day - Funny."  Um, no, those ARE NOT funny. They are crass, rude, etc.

I like to send cards, I hate to pick out cards.  It's stressful.  Especially when I'm by myself. What will the recipient think reading this one, what about that one, this one is too boring, that one is too mushy, that one is just plain rude, this one just doesn't fit the person, that one... well it's nice, but it's not "me."  

I wanted funny, as in make someone smile or laugh without the humor level of a 5th grade boy or the humor last best seen in Animal House of 30 years ago (and how on earth did Animal House get to be 30-ish anyway).

I found one moderately ok card and one card that made me smile. One of them will go to my father and the other to my father in law.  I didn't get Byron a card, we don't usually exchange cards.  Haven't for years.

I have always hated card shopping. Anthony's good at it and likes it, does a good job at it, but he was a cub scout camp helping with the preschoolers of the volunteers (he comes home tired, wiped out, dirt from head to toe and saying being with 8-10 preschoolers ALL DAY LONG out of doors all day long is exhuasting. They call him Visitor (as he has a vistor badge on ) and beg for piggy back rides, games of tag, go on walks t see the turtle, the baby chickens,  the whatever is around the bend, and run around and ask questions all day long, they also eat snack and lunch together.  Sounds cute, doesn't it?

Back to cards.... Ok, so Anthony's good at shopping for cards, but he was at cub scout camping with the perschoolers. SO I was alone. I HATE picking out emotional stuff, it's stressful to me and cards are either mushy, gross, crass, emotional or just too plain.  It was hard enough to pick out cards the recipient will like w/o the cards being just inappropriate and rude. Add in the rude and crass comments I end up being forced to read and card picking out is akin to spending lunch horu with a batch of middle school boys. Which I liked when I was working in middle school, but at least had the ability to give the "mom look" to them to say "get it together guys and be appropriate."

Thus ends my rant on cards for the day.  And Happy Father's Day to Dads (and best of luck to all you card shoppers out there).